ASKING FOR HELP IS AN ACT OF COURAGE

Peace and Solidarity

Asking for help is not synonymous with weakness or vulnerability. On the contrary, asking for help is an act of courage through which we not only recognize our limits, but we also understand and accept the role that others have in our personal growth.

In this sense we could say that asking for help is, I believe, an act of strength and humility, because sometimes it is through the request for support that we recognize the value of others and we fight against the pressure that is often transmitted to us by the need to be independent.
The human being is conceived for cooperation and the relationship with the environment that surrounds it, which aims to achieve collective development. When we ask for help, we express our trust in others, because we lay bare an important part of ourselves so that someone else cares for it. Through this simple gesture, we strengthen our bonds. We are honest and we consider those around us, because we know that they can do something for us.

We tend to think of asking for help as a double-edged sword, which could lead others to take advantage of us or damage our independence, threatening our ability to do things ourselves. Very often it is the bad past experiences, that set of expectations and disappointments, which make us think in this way and make us reticent when asking for help and showing our needs to others. Asking for help is also a great way to start relating to someone, as well as being a basic and essential social skill for our well-being. Just as we like to help, others can also feel good when they help us.

Far from being egoistic, helping others is a way of contemplating the beauty of human relationships and the bonds that are established between people and that arise from our actions. For this reason, it is good to leave pride and the need to feel infallible, as well as excessive reservations in sharing what is happening inside us. And let’s not forget that not even shame is a useful feeling in these cases. On the other hand, another of the most influential factors when asking for help is the fear that we will be denied. At that point the fear of being judged intimidates us, as well as the possibility that others notice our weakness and that this makes us vulnerable. For this reason, to ask for help, a good dose of trust is needed, and we must feel at ease in front of those people.

If we do not work on these two pillars, the exchange will never take place in a fluid and natural way. For all these reasons, it is not worth losing the chance to touch the goodness of others and improve our vision of the world. When we ask for help, we all win, because giving as much as receiving is extremely enriching. Helping is wonderful, but letting us help is no less. Worth trying.

Peace and Solidarity
Salvatore Cimmino